There have been
days when the dishes went unwashed & my clothes went unfolded. And some
days, my bed just looked better unmade. But the words of a good friend have
really resonated with me: just enough. Give us this day, our daily
bread. Just enough bread to sustain us through the journey; just enough water
to carry us home.
It’s been
awhile. And a lot has happened since the last time I’ve picked up a pen. The
days of summer have drawn to a close & autumn has begun to make its debut.
The days have become shorter and the leaves have began to curl & fall and
suddenly I realize that the seasons are changing. And how I'm changing,
too. Lately, nostalgia has really hit me & I’ve been thinking a lot
about home. I’ve been reminiscing about the days I would spend watching
football & running with my best-friend Ken, tailgating at Averett football
games, leisurely walking downtown, noticing the falling leaves. I mean, don’t
get me wrong; life is great here. Feeling a change in the weather, the joy
& comfort I’ve found in the people I’ve met & the places I’ve explored. I
think about this summer & how I took the opportunity to visit & catch
up with my another one of my best-friends, Tanner, who lives in Bristol,
Tennessee (although I hate driving & that five-hour drive was a nightmare,
sorry dude.) I've been
think a lot about the differences in homes & harbors and asking where I see
myself. Is this a place to place my roots or a place to take a drink of
water on my journey back home?
So where do we go from here? I'm
a runner: there are very few things that I enjoy more than lacing up my
sneakers, grabbing my iPod & letting the soles of my feet kiss the ground.
I put in my headphones and suddenly the world around me becomes a blur of color
& sound. Running is a form of therapy for me; when things get messy &
my mind becomes a minefield, I stop whatever I'm doing, grab my shoes &
head for the open road, breathing out chaos, breathing in relief. But lately I
feel as if I've been running so fast that I'm missing the view, that the world
so full of color suddenly sings in black-and-white. I’ve realized
all this time I’ve been running. But in the wrong direction. In the Go series
at Hill City, we focused on Jonah and how God had a task for him. But Jonah
decided to run. From fear, for safety. Which caused him to spend some time in
the belly of a whale. Maybe that’s where I am. Sitting, waiting to see what
direction God has me. Instead of me banging my fists on a table, searching
& screaming for the answer, maybe He sees time for one more First Friday,
one more Bible study, one more conversation over beer & coffee. I’ve found
peace in the prayers I’ve shared with my Hill City Church family & in the
conversations I’ve shared with friends back home. All with the same theme, just
enough. Just enough patience to see where the wind takes me. Just enough courage
to carry on until then.
Eleven months into
living in this beautiful city, I've really been scratching my head &
struggling to determine what the next step is. I've spent so much time
wrestling with the concept of what home is & trying to map out where to go
from here, that there hasn't been head space for other things. Space for
conversations over beer & coffee, board games, or finding the perfect
autumn leaf. A great friend once gave me this quote: 'wherever you are, be all
there' & the theme for the next few sermons at my lovely church is 'we make
the road by walking.' So until the dust settles, I'm striving to live by these
mantras. Spending more time living for chilly autumn mornings & new music. Spending
less time running & more time enjoying the view & numbering the
stars.
