“I’m always
happy when I’m surrounded by water; the ocean makes me feel really small and it
puts my whole life in perspective. It reminds me that i am a very small piece
of this very huge Earth. It humbles you and it grounds you and almost makes me
feel like I’ve been baptized and I’m born again when i get out the ocean. Am I
the same? Absolutely not.”
I’ve noticed this reoccurring theme with oceans and water in my writing lately but after doing some major introspection over the last couples of weeks I’ve come to realize, things are better now; things are okay.
I occasionally find myself overthinking or seeking out this "Great Perhaps" and I end up drowning in a sea of existential thinking but when I come up to the surface, I look at all to be grateful for: a strong and dynamic relationship with Christ that grows daily, a great job I can enjoy while saving money, a cozy apartment, the ability to pay bills (and the ability to complain about them to, even though I’m trying to rid myself of that habit.) I have a couple of really close friends I can turn to, time to breathe and reflect. I have space, goals, and stories to tell. I was reading this article and realized that I’m better and it's okay for things not be okay but that means that changes are coming.
I think
about the ocean and how small my problems seem compared to it. How the waves
may crash and tides may seem high but when i come to the surface, I’m clean
again and in the end we're all just trying to swim.